What I Remember on 4-20-99

by Will Beck

What I remember…

-talking to Dan Mauser in the library that morning before school

-being stressed about taking four tests that day

-getting into my locker that morning and hearing someone joke about 4/20 and smoking weed

-taking my test in Mr. Petersen’s Biology class

-taking a test on Cannery Row in Mr. Friesen’s English class..  Don’t remember anything about Cannery Row anymore except Mr. Friesen saying something about how themes in the book rotated every other chapter. 

-feeling like I aced that test

-finishing the test ten minutes early and not knowing what to do.

-saying a prayer in my post test spare time to thank God for blessing me and helping me on my test.  I felt inspired to pray.  I know God wanted to communicate with me one last time before everything happened.  I look back on that moment and appreciate God’s love more than ever. A very tender moment and a testimony builder for me.

-walking out of class and walking towards Mark Christner’s locker to meet him for lunch. 

-seeing Dylan Klebold by Mark’s locker.  He was wearing a Red Sox hat.

-walking down the stairs with Mark. 

-walking  through the lunchroom and going outside. 

-sitting in our usually spot just outside the door and against the wall.

-teasing James and Kyle.  In retrospect, very glad this wasn’t the last interaction I would have with them.  Would have tormented me forever.  Making  fun became very dumb going forward.

-hearing fireworks or so I thought. 

-standing up to go see what must be have been a senior prank.

-seeing gunman laughing as they were coming down the hill.

-seeing a kid a few feet in front of me drop to his knees and start swearing.  He had been shot.

-flashing back to a keyboarding class with Dave Sanders. We were watching the news of Kip Kinkel shooting kids at his school in Oregon.  I commented to Dave that I couldn’t imagine that ever happening at Columbine.

-running in the door and screaming at people that a shooting was going on.  First person I saw was Dave Sanders as he was walking into the teachers lounge.

-second person was my team mate on the basketball team, Casey.  He didn't believe me.  I continued to yell and he relented as he saw others run in terrified, particularly a large black football player.

-thinking  that this would be over shortly and that I should go hide in the bathroom. 

-running into the bathroom behind the kitchen thinking it would be the most out of the way.

-standing on the toilet with several other guys so the shooters couldn't see our legs if they came in.

-hearing a voice telling me "to get out." 

-walking out not knowing if I was heading to my death or to freedom.

-seeing the stage door and Mr. Andres.

-heading through the stage and up through the auditorium.

-coming out of the auditorium on the second floor in the main hallway.

-hearing gunfire at the other end of the school

-running towards the weight room exit of the school

-coming to a big chain link fence by clement park

-everyone stopped for a sec and decided to keep going

-seeing a girl named Sarah hesitantly climb the fence in a mini skirt

-running through the park towards the Jefferson apartments, now renamed.

-telling my friend Casey he was stupid for bringing his backpack.  Mine was against the wall outside.  I would see it many times as news cameras would film that area over and over.

-seeing a kid at the Jefferson apt’s who had been hit with shotgun spray.  He was bleeding but not bad. 

-Calling my mom to tell her what happened.  Pretty sure I called my dad too.  Mom raced right over.  Told her Mary was in the commons but I didn’t see where she went. 

-going to the Columbine Community Library to look for Mary and friends.  It was one of two meeting spots for parents and students. 

-eating junk food and soda that immediately started showing up. 

-writing my name as being at the library.

-seeing lists of students being put up on the wall as being safe in other locations. 

-talking to Dan Abrams with MSNBC and doing my first interview.  Dan and I would do several together. 

-having several kids borrow mom’s cell so they could call their parents

-not being able to make calls because too many people were calling at the same time

-going inside the library to watch Pres. Bill Clinton speak.  Overwhelmed that he was talking about us.  Couldn’t believe how big  this was. 

-hearing Mary was ok and at the seminary building

-going to Leawood Elementary’s gym to meet other kids.  Eating donated McDonald’s apple pie.  A little piece of heaven for me while in hell. 

-walking over to Leawood park to do more interviews.  Did one with Brian Williams. Surprised my parents let me out of there sight.  I needed alone time though.

-don’t remember getting home or having dinner.  Just remember thinking as I was going to bed that life would never be the same.  I prayed and asked for my friends to be okay and thanked God that he had watched over me and my sister.